Every Silver Lining Has a Cloud
by iloveromance
Summary: After a humiliating experience with Frasier at a a posh spa, Niles is certain that he will never be the same again. But not everyone believes it to be true, as he quickly finds out from the person he loves the most. (Episode: "Door Jam")
_**A/N: Just a note about this story… it must have been fate because the idea came to me before I even realized that the episode was going to air, so a few hours later when I noticed that the episode was on, I knew that it was a sign. Please read and review as reviews are appreciated.**_

* * *

Niles and Frasier did not speak on the way home from the Porte D'Aregent, nor did they need to. They were both thinking the same thing. Never before had Niles felt so humiliated, and he was certain that Frasier felt the same way. If only the damn postman hadn't put Cam Winston's mail into Frasier's mailbox. The whole scenario could have been avoided. But as pretentious as his older brother was (A trait that he shared with Niles), Frasier was not about to be outdone. And the two brothers set out to find out exactly what kind of place this Porte D'Aregent really was. They discovered, to their delight, that it was a spa; and quite a posh spa at that. But that's exactly where the trouble began.

He couldn't look at his brother, nor could he really blame him. It wasn't Frasier's fault; not all of it anyway. There was no sense in sulking over something that was said and done. However the deep sense of humiliation that Niles had felt had, since the fiasco occurred, gone even deeper than he could have ever imagined.

Both Crane men let out a sigh when Frasier pulled into the Elliott Bay Towers parking garage and for the first time in his life, Niles hoped that when they reached the condo, he wouldn't have to see Daphne. Dear God, what would she think of him when he told her the news? And he would have to tell her; there was no refuting that. There was no way that he was going to have her find out in some other humiliating manner. They'd only been married for eight short months and he wanted their marriage to remain as blissful as it had been from the beginning for as long as he could. But he knew that with bliss came honesty and somehow he'd have to tell her.

When the elevator doors opened, Niles silently followed his brother into the condo, where to his dismay; Daphne and his father were still sitting in the living room. His father's favorite television show, "The Rockford Files" blared from the television.

"You're back!" Martin exclaimed, picking up the remote to lower the volume on the television.

Frasier glared at Martin and removed his coat, hanging it on the hook. "Yes, so it would seem."

Martin made a face. "All right, wise guy, you don't have to get smart with me! I just asked a simple question!"

"I'm sorry Dad, but-." Frasier turned to look at Niles. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Why? What happened?"

Again the brothers glanced at each other, neither of them wanting to relieve that horrible moment.

"What kind of hoity-toity place did it end up being?" Daphne asked.

Niles sighed at Daphne's sweet voice, but he was barely able to look at her, much less answer her innocent question. But Frasier had no qualms about doing so.

"It was a spa! A very posh spa!" He bellowed. "And Niles and I were determined to get in, no matter what it took! If it's good enough for Cam Winston, it's damn well good enough for us! However, in hindsight-."

Martin's eyebrows rose. "What?"

Niles knew what was coming and it was this perhaps-irrational worry that nearly drew him back into his shell. "Frasier, don't, please!"

"Niles!" Frasier snapped.

Niles watched helplessly and sank onto the armrest of the sofa.

"Sherry, Niles?"

To his brother's credit, Frasier had succeeded in making Niles smile and he wholeheartedly accepted.

"Yes, please. A very large sherry if you don't mind. Casually make that _two_ very large sherry's." Quickly he avoided Daphne's worried gaze and returned his attention to his brother.

"What in the hell is the matter with you two?" Martin demanded. "You were so damn excited when you left the house and now-what happened?"

"We were humiliated, Dad." Frasier groaned. "Absolutely humiliated."

"Humiliated how?" Martin asked. "You got in, didn't you?"

Ignoring the dizziness, Niles gulped down his very large sherry, and then started on a second one.

Frasier began to pace the room. "We got in all right and it was wonderful, wasn't it, Niles? No, it was better than that. It was incredible. It was a perfect plan. I told them that I was a guest of honor of Cam Winston's and we were as good as in! Isn't that right, Niles?"

Niles wanted to do his best Cam Winston impersonation; the one he had done at the spa, but he just couldn't do it; the memory was just too painful. And judging by the look on their father's face, it was probably better that he refrained.

Martin's eyes were wide with anger. "Frasier!"

"What, Dad?"

"Why'd you go and do something stupid like that?"

"Well, Dad we had to get in there some way, didn't we Niles?"

Niles looked away, pretending to take in the view of the Space Needle. And when his eyes met his father's he saw Martin shaking his head.

"I've never been as disappointed in you boys as I am right now! Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"Just wait..." Niles groaned. "You'll be even more disappointed."

"Why? What happened? What the hell else did you two do?"

"What _didn't_ happen?" Niles replied. "It started out as wonderful. We were thoroughly enjoying ourselves when-."

'"We realized that we were being deprived." Frasier finished.

"Deprived? Of what?"

"The Gold Level. It's our constitutional right as American citizens..."

Martin turned away clearly annoyed. "Oh geez..."

"So then what happened?" Daphne asked.

"We finally managed to work our way into the Gold Room-." Frasier began.

"Thanks to Senator Ogden and my phone call to him." Niles continued. "And just as we were in the Relaxation Grotto, Frasier noticed it."

"Noticed what?"

"Another door! Don't you get it, Dad?"

"It was our stupidity that led us to the other side of that door." Niles groaned. He threw his head back in misery, wishing he could just disappear. "Oh why did I have to be so stupid?"

Daphne rose from her chair and stood behind him, resting her hands on his shoulders. They soon moved down his chest and she drew him close. The feeling of her arms around him was almost more than he could bear. And horrifyingly he felt tears spring to his eyes. Damn…

Her lips fell onto his cheek. "You're not stupid." She said quietly. "You're absolutely wonderful and I love you so much." She seemed to want to say something else but she kissed his cheek again instead. And then she kissed his cheek again and again and again. Oh, how he loved her, and he always would.

"Daphne, I-."

She stared at him, her hand moving up and down his cheek. The sensation was incredible. And then she smiled.

"What's wrong?"

"You taste sweet." She remarked, making him grin.

"Daphne…"

"No, really, Niles. You taste sweet. Your skin tastes like oranges and…is that honey?"

"Oh, that must be my honey and orange butter mask facial."

"It's wonderful…" she sighed. "And so soft… I could kiss you all day."

Her comment, he knew, was meant as a sign that she wanted more, but he couldn't bring himself to make love to her at that moment, he was much too humiliated. Would this humiliation ever end?

"Even if you're disappointed in me?"

Her hands stilled on his cheeks and she stared at him. "Disappointed? Niles, how could you ask me something like that? I could never be disappointed in you. Now what's wrong?"

His eyes moved to Frasier's, whose gaze fell to the ground. "It's about the spa." Niles said.

"I thought as much. What happened?"

He sighed deeply. "Frasier found another door; a door which we assumed led to something better. We couldn't wait to check out the Platinum Level, but then… I… I can't bear to even say it!" Niles cried. "Frasier, would you-."

"Oh, all right, I'll say it!" Frasier relented. It was my fault anyway, so I should take the blame."

"No, Frasier, I'm the one who insisted-."

"Yes, but I'm the one who found it." Frasier countered.

"Look, I don't care who in the hell did what, but for God's sake tell me the story!" Martin yelled. "I don't have all day!"

"Don't listen to your father." Daphne snapped. "Just tell me, what was on the other side?"

"Hell." Niles said. "We ended up in the dumpster!"

Daphne's eyes widened. "They threw you out?"

Suddenly he felt two feet tall. "No, um... we threw ourselves out. You see, when I insisted that Frasier open the door we found ourselves not in a posh waiting room but in an alleyway, by the dumpsters! There were bees everywhere! And-and I could barely run due to my being wrapped like a mummy! It was utterly and completely humiliating! Had I not managed to hide in the breezeway of the main entrance, who knows what I'd look like?"

Daphne did her best to hide her grin and then drew him close, rocking him back and forth. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm sorry too, Son." Martin said. "That goes for you too, Frasier."

"Thanks Dad, but that wasn't the most humiliating part. The most humiliating was the way we were standing at the front door, begging to be let in. We moved as fast as we could to the Gold Lounge, showered and changed our clothes. But we'll never be able to live this down as long as we live."

"Aw, it'll pass." Martin said. "You'll see. I'm proud of you boys."

Niles couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Y-you are?"

"Yeah. You were honest about what happened and you learned your lesson, I hope."

"We sure did." Frasier said. "Next time we'll go to a different spa!"

Martin shook his head. "Oh geez, that's not…."

"It's all right." Daphne said. "Why don't you two relax here while I make you some nice hot soup?"

"Thank you Daphne, but I think I'll just go to bed. I'm exhausted." Frasier said.

"All right, some other time then. It is late. Maybe we should be getting home; don't you think so, Niles?"

He sighed deeply, melting into her embrace. "I suppose you're right. I suppose I'm being ridiculous about this whole thing. I'm sorry, Daphne."

She kissed his cheek. "Come on, let's go home. You and your brother can talk about it over coffee tomorrow."

Niles bade his father and Frasier goodbye and followed Daphne out to the car. They drove home in silence, but their joined hands spoke volumes of love as she drove them home. Minutes later he felt her fingertips on his cheek.

"Sweetheart, we're home."

He opened his eyes and kissed her and then followed her into the Montana. He'd never been so happy to be at home before. They stood in the living room, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Daphne?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Am I still in your exclusive club?" His voice sounded like that of a child and at that moment he felt even smaller. But she laughed and drew him close, kissing his lips again and again.

"Of course, sweetheart. In fact, you're the only member. Just you and me."

Now he grinned, mischievously. "Oh really? And what kind of club is this?"

"Well, that's a secret. But since you're the only member I guess I should tell you. It's a club for people who love each other very much and can't get enough of each other."

"Go on…"

"All right. Well, let's see, it involves a lot of kissing, hugging, hand-holding, caressing, touching…."

"Making love?"

She touched her forehead to his. "Absolutely! That's the most wonderful part."

"When are the meetings?"

Daphne looked at her watch and feigned a look of surprise. "Well, what do you know? One is starting in just a few minutes."

"Well then in that case, we wouldn't want to be late for our _meeting_ now, would we?"

Another kiss and another…followed by several more. He felt as though he'd died and gone to heaven.

"No, of course not." Daphne finally answered, breathless from their kisses.

"How long do these… _meetings_ typically last?"

"Oh, all night…" Daphne grinned. "And sometimes well into the next morning, when they start all over again."

Niles took her hand and began to lead her up the stairs to their bedroom, pausing to kiss her deeply. "Then we'd best get started."

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
